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Is it time to start thinking about divorce?

We frequently write about the divorce process and all that it entails. An attorney experienced in family law can generally speak at length about the legal aspects of the divorce process and about the various approaches couples take when filing for divorce. However, no attorney can tell you with any kind of certainty whether or not you should file for divorce. That decision is up to you.

Of course, an attorney would likely advise you to leave as soon as you can do so safely if your marriage has become abusive. But beyond this seemingly bright line, it can be difficult to determine when divorce is the right choice for a couple and when it may not be. Only you know your values, limits and priorities well enough to know whether your marriage has ultimately become so unhealthy or unhappy that it is time to move on. However, it may take some time to reach a conclusion one way or another.

If you are uncertain about whether it is time to start thinking about divorce, you may want to do some soul-searching. Find quiet time to really contemplate your own health and the health of your marriage. In addition, seeking either personal or couple’s counseling can be helpful as you consider your decision. Finally, keep your eyes open for some red flags which, at minimum, deserve your attention and, at maximum, signal that it is time for you to move on.

Some examples of potential red flags include infidelity, financial secrecy or manipulation, using numbing substances like alcohol or drugs regularly, lack of intimacy and frequent serious arguments. Everyone’s red flags look a little different. But chances are that you will know them when you experience them.

Source: The Huffington Post, “10 Signs Your Marriage Is Heading Toward Shipwreck,” Mari Lyles, July 16, 2014

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